Friday, January 25, 2013

A possum in the hen house... and other things I wasn't expecting in life.




About a year and half ago I became a mother hen.
I wasn't expecting it to happen.
It just sort of hit me one day while I was out in the yard working on what has since become dubbed the Chicken Cottage...


We had, with much coaxing from our three children, purchased some sweet baby chicks from a local feed store, and were attempting to construct a coop for them before they outgrew their indoor nursery accommodations... aka an old aquarium tank sitting on our kitchen counter.


When the chicks were big enough, we started bringing them out with us while we worked to let them get used to the outdoors. They loved it, and we loved having them with us. 
And that's when it happened... I became a mother hen. Every time I squatted down to fit a board or take a measurement, all four babies would run and gather beneath me in a little cluster of peeping fluff. 
If I sat down to take a break, they gathered in my lap for a quick chick-nap. And if there was a noise or a motion that scared them, they ran to me, peeping and flapping for my shelter. 
I knew within a day, these little chickens would never be dinner.
Not that the kids would have allowed it, anyway... 


That's the chicken named Jack, after Jack Sparrow, of course. 
She doesn't mind the masculine connotation. I promise.
Anyway, my mother hen instinct has led me to many things I might not have expected in life. Like hosing chicken poop off my lawn furniture, defending a beautiful but ill planned picnic of fresh cut fruit from a swarm of hungry, fruit-loving birds...
And who can forget the Great Chicken Rescue during the heaviest downpour of this decade...

But as their first year turned into their second, my constant watches and bedtime chick-checks slowly eased  off. My girls were gaining their independence. 
Eventually, we began leaving the cottage door open, allowing them to come and go as they please between the yard and the coop.
Maybe this is reckless, but we don't live out in the wild. We live smack-dab in the middle of a suburban neighborhood. You tend to get a sense of security inside a big six foot privacy fence. A sense that the world lives on the outside, and the only things on the inside are what you put there. So when I found evidence of an uninvited guest in the hen box...
 (the little side section on the coop where they have their nests for laying)


Well, it felt like a home invasion. I was shocked that our yard could be privy to the unknown.
Then the so called love of my life informed me, "Oh yeah, the chickens haven't been sleeping inside. They've been roosting over there, by the back door of the garage."
That's when I noticed the evidence of chickens roosting on a stack of lawn chairs on the back stoop.
I'm a bad mother hen.
Not only were my girls unprotected from the elements these cold winter nights... but something had taken over the hen house.
A very bad mother hen.
We cleaned out the hen box and went right back to tucking the girls in at night.
Locked up tight.

So tonight when I was getting that pirate-loving cutie-pie in the picture above ready for bed and I heard the girls clucking away in alarm outside, I threw on my coat and ran out into the 15 degree night armed only with a flashlight to see what was the matter.
I was expecting to find the neighbors cat lurking about... or maybe a six foot fence jumping chihuahua, perhaps. This is a neighborhood after all. I was not expecting a possum.
Or is that opossum...
I've never been close enough to one to ask before.
But there it was. Its larger than I expected eyes shining in my flashlight. Its pointy little nose pointing right at me. Its bigger than I ever imagined body standing just a few feet away. Much bigger.
Much.
He froze, as I hear possums do, and for some reason I froze, too.
And we just stood there. Staring at each other.
I didn't even think to ask him why his species seems to have dropped their o as of late.
Or maybe that's a regional thing?
Anyway, we both appeared to be waiting for the other to move, and I, for the first time in my life, was the one with more patience. The thing's expression eventually turned from worry to boredom and he let me win our game of possum, sidestepping over to the cottage to tug hear and there at the wire, testing for an entrance while never taking his big, shiny eyes off my face.
I was soon brave enough to shout for my husband.
Pick on me all you want. That possum was terrifyingly confident.
The back door opened behind me with a flood of people and dogs, and I don't really know how it all happened after that, but I managed to get everyone back inside while insisting that no one harm the creature that lumbered off on a lazy path into the shadows of the fence.
It wasn't until everyone was settled back inside, and bedtime back on track, that I realized scaring him off is not the same as getting rid of him. The thing was set up with food, water, and warm, cozy bedding for God knows how long. One strange appearance from a woman with a flashlight, is not likely to tip the scales.
So here I am, back to constant vigilance and nighttime chick-checks. Posting myself by the window and peering out at every cluck.
Who knew adding a few birds to the backyard would turn into a second motherhood?


 I didn't.




Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The best gluten free cookies I've ever tasted!




Mmmm... peanut butter cookies. Does it get any better than that?
Living gluten free, I can tell you it gets a whole lot worse! It seems so many gluten free baked goods I find are also egg free, dairy free, sugar free, and taste free as well.
I extend my deepest sympathies to any of you who may be allergic to all of the above. I for one, am highly allergic to gluten but absolutely adore the others. Especially taste.
So last night when I concocted this particular recipe, and in a stroke of luck it turned out to be not just a tolerable GF substitute for baked goods, but an actual taste sensation... Well, lets just say I was baking up a second batch less than twelve hours later.


So here's what I used:

1 cup natural peanut butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
4 tablespoons butter (softened)
1 cup Bob's Red Mill gluten free pancake mix

The pancake mix is my secret weapon when it comes to gluten free baking. I use it instead of the complicated flour mixtures so many recipes call for.



Now, I also know most recipes come with detailed instructions and sequencing. So here is my process:
Step one - put everything into the kitchen aide mixer
Step two - turn mixer on until it looks like a lump of dough
I'm sorry, I may be feeling a bit sarcastic tonight.
It's probably all the sugar, egg, and dairy I've recently consumed...
Anyway, I did do the little dip a fork in sugar and press in a crisscross trick, as seen above. Then baked at 375 for 10 - 12 minutes.


I used my medium pampered chef scoop to dole out the dough, and it made twenty one cookies. Exactly one more than I could fit on a half sheet pan, which meant I just had to eat that one lump of dough raw. 
Yes, that's right. I eat raw cookie dough.
(Yum!)
Sorry, Salmonella, I'm not scared of you.





Monday, January 21, 2013

Yo ho ho and a roll of washi tape...




So this is me...
jumping on the washi tape bandwagon.
Actually it's more like me swiping away the fumes as I run up to grab the bumper.
I really don't know how I missed the whole sticky tape craze. I must have been boycotting Pintrest for some reason...



Anyway, the minute I pulled my head out of the sand and saw the colorful patterned glory, I knew I couldn't live another week without it.
I immediately set forth and bought my first roll.


Then went out and bought a few more.


Don't judge, they were forty percent off.
But then I had a new problem...
taper's block.
Yes, I held a modern marvel of adhesive genius in my hand and had no idea what to do with it...
until this...



The fact that my seven year old is a pirate seven out of ten days a week really made this idea a no-brainer. He has this big wooden bed with drawers and trundle beneath that I've wanted to turn into a ship for him for a while now... but hanging bars and sails like canopies above it seemed a bit daunting to my inner procrastinator. However tape... you see... even I can stick tape to the wall.



I looked at some coloring pages to get the idea of basic shapes and layouts. Then drew out my plan on a notebook and free-hand cut and taped it all on the wall. The sails I made from another modern marvel of adhesive - contact paper.


And for a flag I printed out a free graphic that I found on the web, cut it a little wavy, curved it, 
and taped it up in mid flight.


All in all, I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. And the whole project took me less than an hour with about four dollars of tape and some left over contact paper I had on hand.


The wheel was given to my husband when he was a young sea-dog. We are considering mounting it to the wall on a plaque that will allow it to spin... but you know that takes a little more motivation than tape.


Oh, and when the little man decides to hang up his cutlass... The whole thing will lift cleanly off the wall with no fuss.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Living Small

I've always had a tendency to dream big when it came to my living quarters. I'm one of those people who drives five miles an hour down the street in the pretty neighborhoods, craning her neck and nearly taking out a mailbox or two to get a good look at those big expensive houses with the manicured lawns and perfect paint schemes  You know, the ones with front doors that cost more than I've ever spent on a family vacation, and untold treasures of space and hardwood behind their all too small to see through properly from the street windows.
You just know they have walk in pantries. 
I stare at those houses, as I do magazine photos, trying to take mental pictures. Memorizing any little detail that might come in handy later when I'm attempting to make my house look not so blah. I try to determine what it is exactly that makes them so beautiful, but mostly I dream about the day that I, too, will live in eye-candy worth scraping your bumper just to look at.  
It has recently hit me that I am 37 (almost 40).
All right, maybe that's not startling news to anyone who has known me for the last three decades (almost four). But to me it has come as quite a shock. Not the realization that eight comes after seven followed by nine then forty... but the fact that I will be what seems a goodly settled age...
 (is goodly an acceptable word in this century?)
and living in a house that will, by then, be entirely paid for...
 with a husband who has no intentions of moving again.
Ever.
I have no walk in pantry.
I can practically wash dishes while sitting on the living room couch.
My lawn turns brown sometime in late August and doesn't look green again until it rains in May.
But still, the so-called love of my life wants to remain here, in this community, in this part of town, in this house that is nearly paid for.
Forever. 
And here's the weird part... I'm starting to understand why.
So this is what I've been doing lately...  trying to acknowledge and accept my lack of pantry and all the untold treasures that come with one.
I'm keeping my eyes on the road and avoiding the pretty neighborhoods at all costs.
I'm not reading house magazines or dreaming of the magical day a house-fairy drops a new wing, extra story, or beautiful new facade onto my home. In fact I'm trying not to dream at all.
Maybe this measure seems extreme, but like the song says - 
If you can't be in the house you love, love the house you're in.
Ok maybe that's not exactly how the song goes... but the message is the same. 
I've been looking around my house for thirteen years thinking if only the walls would move back a few feet here, a couple of yards there. If only there were a large porch, and a separate room for laundry...
But no matter how hard I stare at the walls, they aren't moving. 
It's time to forgive them.
It's time to stop wasting energy on what this house doesn't have and see what I can do with what it has.
Because a house isn't just a place to hang molding, it's where my babies learned to walk. It's where my first and dearest dog is buried under the pear tree. It's where I sat with my best friend and laughed until we cried about things so hysterically insignificant I can't remember what they are. It's where I learned that raising girls isn't just about ponytails and matching hats, and where I realized that having a boy wasn't so bad after all.
Maybe Christmas, perhaps, doesn't come from the store... Maybe Christmas, it seems, means a little bit more...
Obscure Grinch reference. I know. It just felt right.         
 Point being... it's time to let go of those big dreams and concentrate on a little happiness.
And I do mean little.
I can open all of the drawers in the kitchen with one hand, at the same time.
I can put towels away in the cabinet while sitting on the toilet.
But that's ok.
I forgive you, house.
It's not all about built-in fireplaces.
Right?
I can do it. I'm sure I can. 
I can be big enough to live small.
Right?